February 11,2012...well wondering what happened on this particular date and why i am mentioning this two months and 2 weeks after the date in question?One, me and Sandip WE successfully reached the 5yr milestone of being a married couple(phew!!) and two is simple; its only now that i started to blog :D.
So i rewind 5 years and think of the day we first met.
Ours was a completely totally arranged marriage where we met for the first time in my house under the 'supervision' of both our parents and got engaged and married 3 months later.As it happens with most arranged marriages my parents first set out all
the filtering conditions for an eligible partner for me and it wasn't
very difficult for them,me being the youngest of their 4 daughters.So to
them it was been there done that when it came to their youngest daughter's marriage.To begin with it went something like this -same religion,same caste,a reputable family name,proposed boy should be well settled, atleast 4 years elder to me(ensures the well settled factor i guess,well being the key word here),holds a professional degree and few more clauses here n there.
Sandip's was the second pennukaanal(translated to english as bride seeing under supervision of the parents) i had and after the first one i remember praying fervently that i didn't want to have umpteen number of these pennukaanal's and being the object of scrutiny for some strangers whom i probably will never see in my life again. I was very specific about what i prayed,it went something like this ;God plzz plzz let the next one be the right one for me and if its not meant to be, let them not come home to meet me.Now i had no idea whatsoever how i would decide on this,all i knew was that nothing happened without God's knowledge and he would just guide me to make the right decision.So this big decision which would last a life time was made in about 30 mins, the time that Sandip and me got ,to find as much as possible about each other.I remember doing most of the talking or rather i should say questioning that day and that hasn't changed much even now(the talking bit i mean):D.He was very cool and collected and there was no visible tension on his face;which i later found was because he had already done about 8 or 9 pennukaanal's before(he must have been getting to be an expert at this :P) .Anyways the event went smoothly and they left after having coffee and snacks in about an hour .My parents obviously were eager to get my opinion and although i had no idea what i wanted in my partner,i knew a few things which i certainly didn't want in my partner(maybe i 'll write another blog on this one). So i told them i was ok with the guy.Next day evening his parents called and said they also would like to go ahead with the proposal.
To this day i don't know why exactly i said yes to the
proposal,obviously there was no love at first sight.He seemed to be a
down to earth,simple and sensible person.I think i just took that step
of faith believing God had answered my prayer and he was the one.Five
years now and my faith is still going strong:)There is no such thing as a perfect marriage;Men being from Mars and women being from Venus(am sure many of you would have read that book) i just don't see how that combination can agree on just about anything and everything ; even if you married your best friend.I guess the problem is only if you enter into marriage thinking it will be perfect rather than thinking we are gonna do all it takes to make this work.Institution of marriage needs maintenance work on it 24/7.No holidays on that!!I guess that's why married couples start looking very haggard after the initial 2 years; must be all this maintenance work that takes its toll on them:)
That being said inspite of all this, if at the end of the day I can rest my head on his shoulders and know that there is no other place i had rather be than right here right now ,i ain't complaining.On November 11th ,2006 what i took was the perfect decision to enter into an imperfect marriage with my dear hubby.Here's to us and many more years together hoping we wont strangle each other:)
So i rewind 5 years and think of the day we first met.
Ours was a completely totally arranged marriage where we met for the first time in my house under the 'supervision' of both our parents and got engaged and married 3 months later.As it happens with most arranged marriages my parents first set out all
the filtering conditions for an eligible partner for me and it wasn't
very difficult for them,me being the youngest of their 4 daughters.So to
them it was been there done that when it came to their youngest daughter's marriage.To begin with it went something like this -same religion,same caste,a reputable family name,proposed boy should be well settled, atleast 4 years elder to me(ensures the well settled factor i guess,well being the key word here),holds a professional degree and few more clauses here n there.Sandip's was the second pennukaanal(translated to english as bride seeing under supervision of the parents) i had and after the first one i remember praying fervently that i didn't want to have umpteen number of these pennukaanal's and being the object of scrutiny for some strangers whom i probably will never see in my life again. I was very specific about what i prayed,it went something like this ;God plzz plzz let the next one be the right one for me and if its not meant to be, let them not come home to meet me.Now i had no idea whatsoever how i would decide on this,all i knew was that nothing happened without God's knowledge and he would just guide me to make the right decision.So this big decision which would last a life time was made in about 30 mins, the time that Sandip and me got ,to find as much as possible about each other.I remember doing most of the talking or rather i should say questioning that day and that hasn't changed much even now(the talking bit i mean):D.He was very cool and collected and there was no visible tension on his face;which i later found was because he had already done about 8 or 9 pennukaanal's before(he must have been getting to be an expert at this :P) .Anyways the event went smoothly and they left after having coffee and snacks in about an hour .My parents obviously were eager to get my opinion and although i had no idea what i wanted in my partner,i knew a few things which i certainly didn't want in my partner(maybe i 'll write another blog on this one). So i told them i was ok with the guy.Next day evening his parents called and said they also would like to go ahead with the proposal.
To this day i don't know why exactly i said yes to the
proposal,obviously there was no love at first sight.He seemed to be a
down to earth,simple and sensible person.I think i just took that step
of faith believing God had answered my prayer and he was the one.Five
years now and my faith is still going strong:)There is no such thing as a perfect marriage;Men being from Mars and women being from Venus(am sure many of you would have read that book) i just don't see how that combination can agree on just about anything and everything ; even if you married your best friend.I guess the problem is only if you enter into marriage thinking it will be perfect rather than thinking we are gonna do all it takes to make this work.Institution of marriage needs maintenance work on it 24/7.No holidays on that!!I guess that's why married couples start looking very haggard after the initial 2 years; must be all this maintenance work that takes its toll on them:)
That being said inspite of all this, if at the end of the day I can rest my head on his shoulders and know that there is no other place i had rather be than right here right now ,i ain't complaining.On November 11th ,2006 what i took was the perfect decision to enter into an imperfect marriage with my dear hubby.Here's to us and many more years together hoping we wont strangle each other:)
that was such a wonderful post..congrats to your imperfect marriage :) :)..
ReplyDelete& u write very well why so long to blog :) but glad u r doing it now..we get to read some good stuff..:) :)
Thanks a lot Sunitha:)u r way too lavish with ur compliments..
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